In the Dark All Cats Are Gray: A Novel
by Lance Tukell
 
Winner of The Orison Fiction Prize, selected by Tessa Fontaine
 
*Available for pre-order.*
 
Orison Books
paper  /  $26.00
Print ISBN: 978-1-949039-72-6
E-book ISBN: 978-1-949039-73-3
Publication Date: January 5, 2027
 
ABOUT THE BOOK
 
While many queer adolescents flee religious fundamentalism, fifteen-year-old Herschel runs toward it. Coming of age in the 1970s, he leaves his homophobic New Jersey hometown to join Brooklyn’s ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community in the hope that faith might change his sexuality. But instead of finding transformation, he is driven into a double life shaped by failed arranged marriages, conversion therapy, and rejection by both religious and gay communities for refusing full conformity. Drawing on the author’s own experience, this novel explores what communities demand in exchange for inclusion—and what a closeted teenager is willing to sacrifice. Herschel’s journey toward self-acceptance and hard-won liberation from the demands of both religious and secular orthodoxies speaks to the enduring conflict between belonging and authenticity.
 
PRAISE
 
“In the Dark All Cats Are Gray is a deeply-feeling novel about the ways we come to accept who we are. The novel follows a young man who, feeling unmoored and afraid of his sexuality as a teenager, finds a place of devotion and belonging in the Jewish Orthodox community. But being an outsider—and being afraid to accept his own queer sexuality—throws Herschel into a difficult world of navigating who he is, and who he wants to be. This is a beautiful novel about faith and belonging, and the winding road we all must traverse to make sense of the multi-faceted components of our identity. I admire this writer’s willingness to look at hard questions without providing simple answers, and to construct such a propulsive coming-of-age story that asks this important question: who do we get to become, if the pieces of who we are don’t align in the world we want to live inside? How do we then live with all our truths?”
—Tessa Fontaine, author of The Red Grove; judge of The 2025 Orison Fiction Prize
 
“Lance Tukell offers a haunting, lyrical, and unflinchingly raw exploration of faith, queerness, and the search for self. These pages chart a thrilling emotional terrain of psychological euphoria and quiet devastation that grips the reader from the first page to the last. I felt the pain, the fear, and the love pulsing through every chapter. As a queer writer from an Orthodox background, I was especially moved by Tukell’s nuanced, compassionate rendering of a world so close to my heart. This is a stunning literary achievement, one that will make you gasp, ache, laugh, and ultimately see more clearly. Five stars for an unforgettable masterpiece!”
—Dr. Sara Glass, author of Kissing Girls on Shabbat
 
“Blending spiritual inquiry with an exploration of identity and personal truth, In the Dark All Cats Are Gray challenges conventional narratives about morality and belonging. Lance Tukell has crafted a story both intimate and expansive, inviting readers to reckon with the hidden corners of ourselves and what it means to live honestly, contradictions and all.”
—Anna Solomon, author of The Book of V.
 
“When Herschel discovers the Jewish ritual to accompany a dead body, Tukell writes, 'Fathers are fickle. Here today, gone tomorrow. But spirits are eternal.' Throughout this beautiful book, the struggle between Herschel’s physical and spiritual needs quivers on the page. Other books in this genre give us a rigid world that would fling out one of its own, but in Tukell’s hands, that world is far more nuanced. While Herschel’s community and his own driving desire for transcendence are part of him, both conflict with a parallel part of his nature, like Jacob and the angel—until the final shock. Read this book. It is a joy to watch this young gay man find his way despite it all, swim to the surface, and flower.”
—Leah Lax, author of Uncovered: How I Left Hasidic Life and Finally Came Home  
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 
Lance Tukell is a writer living in Brooklyn. His work has appeared in Tablet Magazine and was a finalist in The 2024 Writers League of Texas Manuscript Contest. Tukell is the creator of The Clever Corporate Navigator™, an online resource offering ways to thrive in challenging workplace environments. He received his M.Ed. from Capella University and a coaching certification from iCoachNY at the Zicklin School of Business (CUNY).